#i was belittled at every turn

[hyuckkaiji]

hahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

hueningkai pls show me what a good man looks like 😭🧎🏽‍♀️

[triglycercule]

This is a question related to the mtt hobbies answer that you wrote, the murder trio go around the multiverse and live in a place together, then what happend to horrortale au and horrortale papyrus? If the murder trio got to meet horrortale papyrus how would it go? (The meeting propably wouldnt end well with more canon mtt haha)

aaaaa i dont think it through to be honest when i talk about that concept. they just do. maybe horrortale's issues are already solved and aliza's already gone through horrortale and somehow fixed the hellhole (ALIZA MY GOAT PLEASE SAVE HORRORTALE I DON'T CARE IF IT TAKES 10 YEARS‼️‼️‼️) by the time that horror somehow meets dust and killer (since i dont see a feasible way that horrortale could be fixed outside of aliza or outside intervention.) or maybe he just visits from time to time. and by time to time i mean probably quarterly weekly. idk sorry i cant be bothered to think about it,,, they just do. anyways bad answer i KNOW I KNOW put the tomatoes down pls PLS

if the mtt met horror paps? horror would obviously do his little bantering thing with paps (he's probably revealing every single one of horror's embarrassing moments to them as they speak and horror's desperately trying to get him to shut up because he can tell. dust and killer are piiiiiiissed.) dust is probably like eerily calm during the whole thing. he manages to hold up a conversation pretty well with horror paps and gets along with him good enough without mentioning that theres a ghost version of him screaming asking why dust is ignoring phantom paps. meanwhile killer is mostly silent during it too probably only responding when he's spoken too. i mean like killer already doesn't like being around papyruses (papyri? papyri is so shitty i dont like it we will be saying papyruses) and then seeing horror's papyrus??? what the FUCK happened to horror paps??? sunken in eyes and cracks in his bones and those jagged teeth AND THEN THE FUCKING CROOKED SPAGHETTI????

needless to say once horror paps is gone all of them get into a biiiiig fight. dust drops the cool act because he's not gonna lose his cool around a papyrus but also he's absolutely fuming. he can tell that the changes that phantom papyrus has gone through have something to do with horror with the way that he's acting. killer is also incredibly irritated too (surpringly. being around papyruses just gets him like that) and seeing papyrus like that just gets him upset and angry. like wtf horror did you even TRY with keeping your papyrus safe??? at least killer reset his au and now papyrus is living an unharmed life (with minor concerns about killer's whereabouts but he'll ignore that for now) but horror paps looks so fucked up that there is no WAY that horror tried to prevent him from getting to that point

obviously they fight and many many many many MANY words are said about eachother's characters and the state they left their respective papyruses in. horror knows damn well that horrortale paps's state is because of him but he regretted telling paps to eat humans and neither dust nor killer knew the struggle of living with that guilt and how much he regrets it so they dont get to drag him for not trying hard enough to keep papyrus safe. dust is definitely getting some low blows here and there (but he's getting fucking assisted by phantom paps so he's got some of the deepest hitting insults) and he's definitely getting ganged up on for killing his papyrus and like. not even attempting to leave him alive in someway shape and form aside from the absolute insult that is phantom paps. surprisingly killer is winning this fight because he left his papyrus in a relatively good state. even though he's in a more emotional state than he normally is and would've absolutely OBLITERATED dust and horror in the fight in stage 2 he's actually doing pretty well. probably because hororr and dust dont really have anything to drag him on. they might bring up how something new papyrus is searching for killer but like,,,, is that really that bad compared to how they left their papyruses

[cascadianights]

I got so jaded and pissed off about Moffat's terrible writing that I didn't realize there's been a new writer and director for doctor who for years now and they're dealing w shit like the Civil rights movement and Partition as well as returning to the actual fucking point of "every person is the most important person in the universe" instead of "circle jerking Moffat's Sherlock career and watching him execute brilliant ideas the worst way possible"

Anyways Chibnall and team fucking rocks and I can track what's happening in the episodes and am deeply emotionally invested again so I'm so ready to catch up to the return of RTD and the 60th and whatever awesome queerness I'm hearing bits of

[daz4i]

it is my hope that if i ever do manage to recover and get better and perhaps even stable and hopefully have some reach and effect on other people, i will never be as annoying as self help bloggers or other shitty dismissive recovery personnel god bless 🖤

[jewishrizahawkeye]

and the arguments that i have won against you in my head; in the car, in the shower, and in the mirror before bed…

yeah i’m so tough when i’m alone and i make you feel so guilty and i fantasize about a time you’re a little fuckin’ sorry-

and i try to ꪊꪀᦔꫀ𝕣ડ𝕥ꪖꪀᦔ why you would do this all to me. ‘you must be insecure. you must be so unhappy.’

and i know in my heart: hurt people, hurt people. and we both drew blood, but man those cuts were

ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ꜰᴜᴄᴋɪɴɢ ᴇQᴜᴀʟ!!

and i try to be tough. but i wanna scream ‘HOW COULD ANYBODY DO THE THINGS YOU DID SO EASILY?’

and i say that i don’t care.

say that i’m fine.

but you know i can’t let it go, i’vetriedi’ve triedi’vetried for so long… it takes s⃞   t⃞   r⃞   e⃞   n⃞   g⃞   t⃞   h⃞ to forgive but i don’t feel ₛₜᵣₒₙg

[harrowscore]

SO close to strangling my dad for what he's saying about berluconi... what a deeply ignorant little man he is at heart

[robertsbarbie]

living with my parents the majority of the time: 😐👎

living with my parents when i don’t have access to a car and therefore cannot come and go as id like: 😐🔪

[boogiewoogieweeb]

#he's good at his job! #crozier likes him! crozier chose him! #and any enabling of crozier happens because he lives and works in one of the most strictly hierarchical systems to ever exist #where dissidence can be a hanging offence! #and he's so! fucking! angry! about it #also having to deal with a spirit bear on top of everything #that makes you question the very fabric of the assumptions you once had about the world #also his cabin door is stuck!! #we talk a lot about jopson finally snapping and beginning to bite and kick #i really think he should invite edward to the inevitable breakdown - @maedhrus

listen i don't think edward little was actually a bad first lieutenant. when we see him in the first episode he's calm and confident. he does not say much but he's amiable enough. crozier likes him, and i don't think crozier would like anyone he doesn't think capable in some way. generally he's dependable and knows what he's doing. however unfortunately for edward he has these qualities because he has a major case of eldest daughter syndrome, which means he both wants to please his mum (crozier) and has an overdeveloped sense of responsibility for his younger siblings (crew), so when they get stuck in the ice and crozier starts going (more) alcoholic, he enables his mum bc he doesn't want to disappoint her even if he doesn't agree with her, and he has to pick up the tasks and care for his siblings she's not doing, but he can't let his siblings know about their mum's situation because they'll get worried and restless. and like a true eldest daughter he has to bear the brunt of mummy's anger for being a disappointment but he also doesn't want to seek refuge with the man she divorced (fitzjames) because that feels like a betrayal. also while this is going on there is a giant bear who hunts his siblings for sport so they're dying left and right and also a changeling master manipulator who's making his siblings mad at their mum and who wants to fuck said mum before eating her like some sort of praying mantis. anyway i think i would start being miserable and anxious too.

[rez-urrection]

if the light is on. and the issue is that the light is on. why not just turn it off instead of walking and finding everyone in the house and asking if they left the light on. just turn it off. everyone else in the house just turns it off.

[technicolorxsn]

watching the newest chezzkids analysis vid and im wondering if I might have misinterpreted some stuff,,,

[imperial-evolution]

.

[iserlohnfortress]

the combo of being too depressed for most of my life to feel things normally and getting in the habit of repressing everything else i did feel because at every turn i'd get controlled and mocked makes trying to build a life now that i feel a bit better so fucking difficult

[bioethicists]

something i constantly struggle with as a psych survivor is that "self-improvement" or "self-care" were utilized as punishment in adolescent psych treatment. "you self-harmed, fill out this worksheet about it" "we will be kicking you out unless you agree to use three skills before using behavior" "you spoke out of turn in group, go sit alone in the room for hours for self-reflection + write a plan as to how you are going to reintegrate into the community"

it wasn't collaborative; it was imposed. it wasn't curious about my needs; it was imposing their vision of how they wanted me to behave. it wasn't about addressing my pain; it was about addressing specific things i did with that pain which were deemed undesirable.

in contrast, self-destruction was routinely a way to act against power + authority that were causing me to feel belittled, unloved, trapped. finding ways to self injure when every second of my life was monitored. finding ways to use 'coping mechanisms' against themselves as ways to harm myself. cultivating self-hatred because i knew that's what i wasn't supposed to be doing + i needed to rebel against the people telling me what i was supposed to do (this rebellion is sacred, btw).

now, as an adult, taking care of myself still feels like something i'm Supposed to Do under Penalty of Punishment, while self-destructing still feels like resistance + freedom. self-destruction feels like a precious thing that proves that i belong to myself + self-compassion feels like people trying to take away that belonging.

anyway. kill the psychiatrist inside you but be mindful of the terrified child he created who is still bloodying their nails on the insides of the asylum walls.

[halfstayed]

laurel lance and oliver queen in 2x09

[redrockbutch]

Lately I've been thinking abt how I never got my pandemic stimulus because I was constantly in fight/flight/freeze and/or seconds away from a panic attack or meltdown etc and everyone around me refused to believe me when I talked about how I was utterly incapable of doing things on my own (and then were surprised when I couldn't do things on my own) and while I'm mad at that and wish I had that cushion of savings, I don't think there's any world in which having it would have helped. Not w the situation I was living in. There's no way I would've been able to keep any of it, and then I'd just have more abuse to feel guilty about not somehow magically stopping.

[othercrossee]

Its 2023 and they can't write a plot about a fat characters without putting the word diet or some shit like that in the title and description